I currently have four friends pregnant with their second child and I was in that same situation just a few months ago. I remember being really nervous about how I was going to handle having two children under the age of two. Mostly, I was terrified the new baby would also have colic. Next, I was worried about how my high-need toddler was going to behave after we brought a newborn into the family. Would my choice to stay at home with a baby and a toddler be insane?
The transition from one child to two definitely has had its difficult moments. The worst is when the kids are both crying at the same time. Trying to carry a toddler out of a public place during the middle of a tantrum while also trying to juggle an infant car seat isn’t super fun but it’s manageable. Just like everything in life, you figure it out and it gets easier over time.
I thought I would pass along some tips for how to transition from one to two kids. This advice will help stay-at-home parents the most but it is still great information for anyone. Here are my suggestions for how to stay at home with a baby and a toddler;
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My number one tip for handling a baby and a toddler is to wear the baby as much as possible. This will allow you to prepare food, vacuum, grocery shop, etc. Without my carrier, I would have no clue what to do. Having both my arms and hands available is essential to getting anything done while also doing my best to try and keep my risk-taking toddler safe.
I wear the baby differently depending on the age of the child. With newborns, I prefer this wrap. It keeps the baby snug and secure. The wrap supports the head and protects the newborn from nosey strangers. I wrap myself at home and then when I arrive at my destination I just slide the baby right in.
After a few weeks, I transition to a lightweight soft carrier for a few months. I find it is easier to pack in the diaper bag. I don’t have to pre-wrap myself because often I keep the baby in the car seat until she wakes up and then I switch to the carrier. The head is still supported somewhat and the carrier is fast to clip on and off.
Around 4 months I transition to the Ergo. The baby gets too heavy for me personally to wear in anything else. With the Ergo, the baby’s weight is supported by my hips. I can wear the baby in multiple directions for long periods of time and it doesn’t hurt my back.
Your toddler will most likely be down to one nap a day. For your sanity, get your baby to sleep during the toddler’s nap time. Obviously, this will not always be possible but it’s definitely something to strive for.
You will need a little bit of uninterrupted time for yourself each day. When both children are napping this is when I become a super productive mom. I carry laundry up and down the stairs. I unload the dishwasher without the toddler making it an hour-long process. I eat lunch! Do the tasks you can’t easily do when the baby and toddler are awake.
You guys, have you ordered your groceries online yet? If not, you are missing out. I don’t always use this wonderful service but let me tell you it will come in handy every once and a while. When the entire household has the flu – order your groceries online. When the wind chill makes it -25 degrees outside – order your groceries online.
You shop online, pull up to the store, and an employee brings all your groceries out to your car. I have yet to pay any extra for this feature. Also, I’ve found that I spend less money than when I shop in the store because if they are out of something you’ve selected the store will price match with a better product.
Getting out of the house will save your sanity. Leaving the house will “kill time”, entertain your kids, and maybe even get you a partial adult conversation. Because, let’s face it, when out with your kids you will never get to have an entire adult conversation.
Utilize library storytimes, children’s museums, the zoo, play dates, running errands, anything to get out of your house.
Maybe it is just my toddler but she is hungry all the time. As soon as I sit down to nurse the baby Cora demands a snack, milk, etc.
Wash and cut up fruit during the toddler’s nap. Have snacks that are easy to access and don’t have to be heated (examples; string cheese, graham crackers, squeezable puree pouches).
I quickly learned to have food ready to go so there are fewer meltdowns in a day. These food storage containers are the best, I use them for baby food and toddler snacks.
Babies can take up a lot of time and your toddler will not be used to sharing you. I suggest gathering up all the child’s toys and figuring out a system to rotate them. This keeps the toys interesting and fun. We recently brought out our tunnel again and Cora loves playing with it because she forgot we even had it.
You can bring out a toy the toddler hasn’t seen in a while when you are about to be busy with the baby. Furthermore, new activities/toys aren’t a bad idea either. Play-doh was huge for us because Cora had never had it in the house before.
It’s super important to carve out one-on-one time with your toddler. I was very concerned that Cora would have a lot of jealousy towards the new baby but this didn’t become an issue at all. I make sure every day to spend quality time with our toddler just the two of us. Then when I need to spend time with the baby there isn’t a problem.
The best thing I’ve done so far is sign-up our toddler for swim lessons. My husband takes her so they get one-on-one time. I get to spend time with the baby and get a break from the crazy one. Plus, swimming wears her out and makes her feel special.
I also make sure to catch the older child being good. If Cora does something nice or helpful I praise her and make a huge deal out of her being a big girl.
Children like to help out with chores, until a certain age. Yes, with a toddler “helping” the cleaning might take longer and maybe even messier (my toddler likes to sweep the carpet) but it does help get things done around the house.
Cora likes to put socks in drawers. She helps put silverware away and fold towels with me. Baking is always a huge draw for her because of the mandatory taste-test.
Having the toddler and baby enjoy playing with each other is a win-win. The siblings learn to like each other and keep each other entertained while you are productive around the house.
Our toddler likes to do tummy-time with the baby. I encourage her to show the baby how to roll over. Baby sign language will be fun for Cora to teach the baby in a few months.
Lastly, you need to take care of you. A few hours away from your kids will make a world of difference. Sometimes, it is important to miss your kids a little bit to appreciate them even more (and vice versa).
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