What I’ve Learned About Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

I truly never thought I would be a stay-at-home mom.

First of all, I didn’t imagine I would ever be able to afford it. Though now the thought of working just to pay for daycare doesn’t sit well with me (absolutely no judgment for those who do).

Secondly, I didn’t believe I would really enjoy staying home with children. I thought it would be boring. I was never a huge fan of children. I didn’t enjoy babysitting. But with my own children, obviously, the feeling is different.

But when it came time to make the decision to stay home full-time it turned out to be simple. I’ve liked my careers but I wasn’t left with a gaping hole in my life when I left them. I miss the income and the feeling of a job well done. But I don’t have a passion for any one job in particular besides caring for my family.

Since becoming a full-time stay-at-home mom I have come to a number of realizations about this choice;

#1 – Your Home

Cleanliness

Anyone would presume your home would be much cleaner if you were there more often. I have found the exact opposite to be true. By the time I clean or organize one mess my toddler has destroyed three other areas in my house. I could literally vacuum every day and the floors would still be dirty.

Projects

Also, you would think more household projects such as landscaping, painting, decorating, etc would get done. Nope. Who has time for that? Between breastfeeding, laundry, meals, story times, and doctor’s appointments there is minimal leftover time. That’s to say there isn’t much extra time during which I could take my focus away from my infant and toddler.

#2 – Eating Habits

The change in our eating habits has been a good one since I’ve become a stay-at-home mom. We now rarely eat out or get take-out.

Mostly, because we can’t afford to but also because I am able to prep dinner during the day. Every week I take the time to meal plan. I hate this chore but it is worth it.

Furthermore, our alcohol consumption has drastically decreased. In part to me seemingly always being pregnant and/or breastfeeding.

I did think when becoming a stay-at-home mom I would be creating much healthier meals and snacks for my kids. Again, this isn’t exactly happening. Today my toddler demanded chocolate chips for an after-nap snack and I gave them to her. It wasn’t worth the tantrum. A goal of mine is to increase our veggie intake and since I stay at home there is no excuse not to.

#3 – Education

When a former teacher decides to stay at home to raise her kids you would think a lot of structured learning time would be set aside each day. I certainly did! By now my kid should have her numbers and colors down pat. Maybe she would have a few words in Spanish or Mandarin in her repertoire.

What a joke! I have not incorporated any structured learning time. Yes, I try to incorporate learning into our everyday activities. But craft time – no way. Flashcards, they haven’t happened.

I am well aware that a daycare setting would provide my child with more structure. She probably would be learning more surrounded by other children. Education is another goal for me to work on this year.

#4 – Screen Time

Yes, I was one of those people who believed kids should not watch tv before the age of two. For us, that goal was completely unrealistic. Television or Netflix is an essential distraction tool.

For example, when mom needs to throw up from morning sickness put on Daniel Tiger. When mom needs to get dinner on the table and the toddler is melting down put on Spirit: Riding Free.

Do I wish my daughter would play independently instead of watching t.v. – of course! But I have accepted the fact that watching a small amount of television isn’t going to cause irreprable damage to my child.

#5 – Money

One of my biggest concerns when deciding to become a full-time stay-at-home parent was about money. Could we survive on one income? What I’ve learned is that you make it work.

I no longer buy clothes for myself. I go a long time between haircuts. We rarely go out to eat and unfortunately date nights only happen a few times a year.

Just make sure to stop comparing your “stuff” with that of your friends. It is hard to see other people’s really nice homes, trendy outfits, and fabulous vacations. It’s important to remember why you are choosing to stay home and that may mean some sacrifices.

Conclusion

I have zero regrets about choosing to stay at home. There are days when this job really sucks but so far the positives outweigh the negatives.

The most important advice I could give anyone contemplating staying at home is to make sure you have outlets. Whether it is working out, reading, blogging, etc. Take time for your self or you will go crazy. Going out with your friends is essential to get some adult conversation in.